Trapped in my own mind..

I was wondering when will i loose my laziness and finally decide to write another blog or in other words when will another topic worthy of writing will come up!! so here is my opportunity.since i was a teenager, i have always thought left out of my family.they never cared what i want.but i got my way with threatening or causing a turmoil....i did get what i want most of the time but now i am realizing its the respect that was always lacking since my early days.if they would have respected me they would have gone with every decision i take...i rarely listen to other people...one of my bad habits...but on the brighter side i do read a lot of books so i am right most of the times.well, back to my original problem.I feel so trapped inside of my head.since my ideas are very different from rest of the people all over the world.always been treated like a 3rd world country citizen, but waite OOhhh , isnt it who i am??!!!well, u can fight with the whole world but not with your family.they are suppose to understand you and help... but in my case its different...every individual think he/she deserves all the good in the world and they are the most intelligent person on earth...so, did I and in this way have always made a fool of myself...now i have realized that I am not intelligent at all...in fact I am a very stupid person..i flunked fcps part 1 twice so now i have also realized my four yrs at medical college was a total waste...and financially broken also...life is tough it is but to loose the support of your family is a major breakdown....i wish i could die right now...I am so much hurt and in dilemma that suicide seems an easy way out...